Oh Shit, A Diagnosis.. & Then There’s The Pivot
When what you’ve chosen to do for a living for the past 12 years becomes less than a walk in the park because your body starts to reject you, you begin to learn what your life might look like without ‘hustle culture’ or working at the capacity in which you once did. At first you’ll probably feel resistant because of fear of the unknown. I mean, this is what you’ve been doing for 12 years, right?! You’ll feel angry and confused and hurt and defeated. But there’s a moment just past that anger where there’s just a little bit of clarity. Just a little shimmer of light that signifies putting the barrier down for just a split second. You forget to resist the change and just for a moment you start to pull everything back, just to peek and see what it might look like if you lean in. The curiosity is too much.
Some people pull it back just a little, it gets too bright, and they get scared and stop. But not you. You are going to start to pull back a bit and allow yourself. You are going to allow yourself to find different mediums in which you can express yourself and your art, your being and your greater purpose. You might not know exactly what that is yet or the details of how you’re going to achieve it, but you’re going to recognise the feeling and what you are going to know is that you’re going to go with your gut. You’re going to act on it. It’s in that moment, if you let it, that you’re anchored. You’ve aligned.
My life has always been about pivoting, which I can place the credit to my sporadic and inconsistent upbringing. I never had a childhood home and in fact experienced eviction notices and Rent-a-Center coming to the door to pick up our furniture. I couldn’t even have consistency in the couch I sat on or the bed I slept in. I didn’t have the childhood best friend, or a sense of community any bigger than my immediate family - and even then at times I felt like a complete stranger. There were times that my family and I pivoted because we had to, but didn’t want to. I have a lot to thank for that, because since a young age I’ve looked at pivoting like an adventure. Sure, I still experience the strife at the beginning stages of learning that I have to pivot, but with practice I’ve been able to get to that part where I see the light and become self aware that my own actions can allow me to change the outcome into something I want.
This isn’t just an issue in the world of hairdressing or business or autoimmune; it’s a fundamental problem constantly needing to be solved throughout the stage of living. There’s a beauty in the process of pivoting that I think gets wildly overlooked, but it’s something that, in my vast experience, is really what should be noticed.
When I moved with my family, changed schools and constantly had to meet new friends, moved my barber shop from its original location, got shut down because of a global pandemic, and even most recently, lost work because I had to get a hysterectomy because of my aggressively growing fibroids, those weren’t shortcomings. They were problems needing to be solved, and it was up to me to decide how I was going to handle those problems. It’s where the real growth happens. It’s the reason why you were made to pivot in the first place. Our ancestors did it, and we do it. It’s wired within us, we just have to let it happen. Lean in.
When you take something that you originally resisted and instead learn to lean into the process, you’re allowing yourself to evolve. So this is my challenge for you and something that I know that you can do. Even if you haven’t experienced having to pivot the same way that I have, you experience it every single day. You experience it in deciding to wake up an hour later. Or by whether or not to go to the gym. You experience it by deciding to work late. Or by spending too much on clothes.
What is it right now that feels like a crossroads to you? Do you feel yourself resisting or leaning? Have you allowed yourself to be self aware and follow your gut? Have you allowed yourself to take a peek? Eventually, you are going to decide by what you’re allowing and if you’re either going to take an outcome and shift it into what you want, or if you’re going to get scared and resist.
But here’s my challenge: Go ahead, allow yourself. Follow your gut and remember, it’s only an adventure.